-Ha! What's the matter laddie? Can't hold your drink?
-I can hold my drink just fine old man!
-Then you really must have been tossing them back! What's wrong? Girl problems?
-Nu uh! And “hic” it's none of your business!
-Okay? Fine th-
-But if you really insist then I'll “hic” tell you about it
-You know, on second thought I think I'm-
*Gets up to leave*
It all started awhile ago, when I enlisted in the army.
-But I thought they weren't allowing blacks to join
-Exactly! I thought they had finally made some good life choices but it was just for “hic” show. Our unit hasn't done a single goddamned thing, even when we could have helped in battles they said it wasn't our “hic” place. At least we wouldn't have run away with our tails up our asses
*Takes big gulp*
*tries to leave*
-*Pulls back down*
And the old white folk are going around screaming their head heads off about the confederates being flashy in Sheeeeeeeenandoah.
-Well I do suppose they're panicking a bit too much
*orders a drink*
-And even now they *hic* won't let us do anything
*slams fist on the table*
-*takes a sip*
That is rather stupid
*takes a gulp*
-And it doesn't stop there!
-Oh? Do tell.
-We’re treated like the scum of the earth by the other regiments
-That does sound *takes a gulp* rather unfair *hic*
-Well someone gets it! And my commander is no better! That stupid straight laced goody *hic* two shoes has no pride or honor as a human being!
-Why *hic* not?
*at this point, the gentleman is starting to sweat*
-The goddamned *hic* bastard thinks we should be *hic* honored to be in the army in the first place!
*during this time everyone starts getting consistently louder *
-But *hic* aren't they having trouble getting people to join? *hic* Shouldn't they be happy to get some volunteers?
-Ha! Now you're talking old man! That *hic* commander grew up in the north, and he never knew the pain of *hic* slavery, he can even go home to see his sister every once in awhile!
-*softly* What happened my boy?
-My *snif* brother and sister are still slaves in the south.
-I'm sorry lad, but that's why you'll fight for them right?
-*Yelling * The government still doesn't see us as human *hic* beings that want to fight for our family! And they NEVER WILL! It’s hopeless *starts crying in a humorous way, obviously drunk *
-*noise level normal again *
Well lad, *takes a gulp* sometimes that's the way life is. *hic* But don't ever give up, because that's when the fight is lost *hic*
-Hey old man…
-That's some pretty common advice!
-Well that's rather- *proceeds to commit violently *
-So you're the one who can't hold your drink huh?
That is it, later I may perform it but no promises.
Yes the “poor life choices” is a shout out to Mrs.Breland